another moral hangover. fuck.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
