Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
