He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
