There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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