mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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