# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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