it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
