like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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