Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
