Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
