You just made me feel so damn special
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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