North Korea, Best Korea!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
