this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
