Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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