At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
