just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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