tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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