I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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