Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
