i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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