I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
