everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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