My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
