I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
