Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
