he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
