The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
