Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize