Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
