would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
