I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
