Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
