My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
