Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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