apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
