pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
