my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize