all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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