One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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