Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
