Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
