i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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