i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
