So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
