i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
