HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
