OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
