Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
