In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Michael Bay diarrhea
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
