Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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