She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
