Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
