he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
