Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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