actually, I'm a sock model
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize