why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
