brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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