Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
