Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
