Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
