do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize