ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
home. puking in laundry basket.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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