My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
