i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
