two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
